he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
