Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
