Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it's like iHOP with fire
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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