yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
