we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
