Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
