is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
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it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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