Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
