no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
