it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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