She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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