I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
