i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
