He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
