Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
