I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
