You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
