i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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