Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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