One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
