his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Two words: blizzard sex
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
