"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
did i just pee glitter
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
