I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
