i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize