No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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