I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
