The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
