So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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