I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Mom said you looked used
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize