this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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