Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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