Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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