u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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