The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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