fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize