What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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