do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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