My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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