it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
