just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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