Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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