It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
