well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
