her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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