she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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