So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm really busy with my period
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