Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
