pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i already hear my dad disowning me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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