I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
