I wish i was in the wii world.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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