if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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