It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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