I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
