Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize