Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
