There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize