There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she smelled like a LAN party
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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