Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
