You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
